Update #156

I can still remember the look on every single person's face that I encountered during those first few hours.

It's 4:00 a.m., ironically (and I just realized this), the time that my friend Sarah and I finally arrived in Knoxville that night, and I just woke up from...can you call it a nightmare when you know that it ends well? A reliving, perhaps, of those first few hours. I can see vividly the look on Dave's friend Tommy's face when we finally found him in the waiting room, when he told us that Dave was out of surgery. I can hear Dave's parents' voices when I called them on their drive down to pass on the news, not knowing they already knew what I was about to hear. Dr. Tummers, who drew the short straw and had the unfortunate job of telling me that Dave wasn't going to make it, and Teresa, the nurse who gave me tissues and walked with me and Sarah to see him for possibly the last time.

I remember rounding the corner to his room, that first sight. I was afraid to touch him, trying not to throw up, trying to keep my legs underneath myself. And then holding his hand, standing by his bed, kneeling by his bed for so long. Trying to pray, then finally finding the only words I could think over and over and over - His Spirit, His will, His peace...

I remember Donna, Dave's night nurse for the first week, letting us stay so long past visiting hours - she did so many times that week - then gently telling Sarah that she needed to get me to leave so the nurses could change shifts.

That's when I woke up - today, not then. Then, it was a bad dream that wouldn't end. And today - today, I let my thoughts continue to wander through it all, all over again. Dave's parents and sister arriving, walking with them through the hell that I had been through already. Doctors. Nurses. Visiting hours that were so short. So many people, visitors, supporters, phone calls. Dr. Tummers is "almost hopeful." Sitting up all night waiting for 5:30 a.m. when I could see him again. The "cardiac episode." Something about "extraordinary measures" and organ donation? The dialysis. The waiting.

As I'm typing this, I can hear Dave breathing. A nice wife would probably leave the room so as not to disturb him. But I'm pretty sure I could sit here and listen to that sound forever. That's one of those sappy things that newlyweds say, right? But in this case...

We've had snow days for the past three days (one of which was actually justified, which in Cincinnati is pretty impressive). And when I woke up to the blanket of white on Wednesday morning, for a moment, everything disappeared - the dressing changes, Dave coughing from his cold, the wheelchair, the crutches, the meds, the stress of the past three weeks out of the hospital - and all I could think of was how glad I am that he is home. This morning, that feeling is magnified a thousandfold. And I just want to sit and listen to him breathe.

Most of this is coming, I know, from the fact that Sarah, who drove with me that night, will be getting up soon to take her five-month-old son to his second brain surgery in just over two months. And for a moment last night, I actually considered not going to sit with her and her husband at the hospital because it was too early and there was too much going on with Dave. Now I am remembering her, six and a half months pregnant, the first person that I called because I knew she would know what to do, driving through the night with me, holding my hand, making phone calls, forcing me to eat, sleeping on the floor at the hospital so I wouldn't be alone...

If you think of it today, pray for Sarah, her husband Ben, their daughter Abby, and their little son Caleb. They've spent so much more time in the hospital than any family should, and I know they could use the extra support today. And in the midst of that prayer, thank God that Dave is home. There are still so many things to pray for, but for today, that's the only one that matters.

A few more minutes to enjoy the sound of Dave breathing. Then, I'm going to take a shower. I have a friend who needs me to sit at the hospital with her.

Update #155

I promise that even with the disclaimer about a few missed days here and there included in my last post, I never intended to go a week and a half with no updates. I fear, however, that I may have made our "abnormal normal" life seem a little more routine than it really is. Just to give you a little insight...

1. Dave had a dentist appointment on Wednesday. The entire adventure, which most people could do on their lunch break, took four and a half hours. The appointment itself was thirty minutes, travel forty minutes; the rest was prep time, getting in and out of the car, getting in and out of the office...

2. Dave was a Boy Scout when he was growing up, so he's probably well practiced; I'm learning quickly what the motto "Be prepared" is all about. Everywhere we go, we have two sets of dressing change supplies, towels for any "explosions," handicapped parking pass (which I have forgotten more often than I've remembered it), meds (we actually bought one of those daily med organizers broken into morning, noon, evening and bed for each day to keep track of his 12 meds), crutches, wheelchair, ...

3. I got a cold last week; unfortunately for Dave, I learned about sharing a little too well in elementary school (in other words, Dave now has my cold). Anyone ever go to the doctor on Day 2 of a routine cold? Guess where we're headed tomorrow morning? Because of the condition of Dave's lungs, every small virus could mean something huge for him. Hopefully, his new doctor, Dr. Hardin, can help us take care of it quickly.

4. Perhaps the most difficult part for me - before Dave's accident, getting ready for bed was a 10 minute process: put on PJs, brush teeth, crash. Now, when we say we're "going to bed," we are beginning a potentially two and a half hour process of changing dressings, filling humidifiers, taking meds, adjusting bed angles... On Wednesday night (Wednesday was a rough day overall), Dave's dressing exploded at midnight. In the midst of changing it, a 30 minute coughing fit had him in tears and me (also almost in tears) with my gloved hands over both of the openings in his abdomen so his coughing wouldn't send drainage all over his bed.

This is beginning to sound much more negative than it should (although I must admit that I miss the days when our "abnormal normal" was more about spiked hair and too many piercings and less about bandages and wheelchairs). Aside from the cold, Dave and I are both doing well. We're getting unpacked (one box per day), settling into a routine, eating healthy meals, sleeping a fairly normal amount, and continuing to relish being out of the hospital. We've enjoyed "Fish Fry Night" with his old roommate Chris and our friend Todd (our kitchen still smells like the "Seafood Medley" that Chris wanted to try) and even a couple of trips to the mall to meet friends for lunch and pick out tuxes for Wedding Part II (or whatever we're calling June 6th these days).

On Friday, Dave switched from in-home care (for nursing, PT and OT) to outpatient care, which will happen once again through the Drake Center (although we may be able to do some of his appointments at a location in West Chester - five minutes from home - instead of Cincinnati - 20 minutes from home). During our appointment with the outpatient Wound Care Team at Drake on Friday, the nurse and doctor both said that Dave's wound is progressing well and that we are doing a good job away from the hospital...phew! :-)

One really cool story: the church where I work has been amazingly supportive throughout the past seven months even though many of the people praying for Dave there had never even met him. Last Sunday, Dave made his first post-accident venture to WellSpring (the church) and got a standing ovation when he came through the door. My middle schoolers surrounded him as if he was a celebrity, and our pastor brought us up to the front of the church in the middle of worship to give everyone a visible reminder that God is still alive and working miracles. For anyone who doesn't know Dave, he's not a super center-of-attention kind of guy, so I think it was a little overwhelming for him, but we were both blown away once again by the support and love we have felt from so many people through this whole process. Emotionally draining, but a visible reminder for us that God is still alive and expressing His love through His people.

I think this was longer than I had intended, but our youth activities at church are canceled for the evening because of the snow, and Dave and I are enjoying a rare quiet Sunday with time to reflect...and blog. :-) But now, my rambling ends - I'm off to make my husband some chicken noodle soup. More soon...

Update #154

Never thought I would marry a high maintenance man. Dave certainly keeps us both running around! :-) Good thing it will end (at least he keeps promising it will) once he has surgery.

Speaking of surgery, we met with Dr. Muskat, Dave's surgeon, on Monday afternoon (the reason that I never posted again). We were hoping he would say that Dave was ready for surgery soon, but for as optimistic as we both are, we've seen his wound heal and change enough in certain areas to know what it probably should look like everywhere before the doctors go in to fix his fistula, and as we expected, it just isn't there yet. Dr. Muskat is impressed with Dave's progress, but he estimates at least two more months before we will be back in the hospital for what we hope will be his last major surgery.

In some ways, for as frustrating as the dressing changes can be, I think we both know that the break will be nice. The insanity of last week with his move, the excitement of the wedding on Saturday and the combination of the past seven months of...well, everything actually makes me look forward to having a routine, for as odd as that routine will be. And yesterday was the first day that it felt like we got close. Dave's nurse came in the morning to do some blood work, then I actually went to my office (crazy!) to catch up on some youth ministry stuff. We ordered a washer and dryer (we know we'll need it for all of Dave's dressing supplies - and all of my clutziness) then spent the afternoon organizing papers and medical bills and filling out disability insurance information. I headed out to the grocery store when PT and OT stopped by to do their evals on Dave. Then, we actually sat down to dinner at the kitchen table, hung out with our friend Todd, and closed out the night by watching TV. All of those mundane details are the things that make me scratch my head about bloggers - "Why would you share all of that, and why would anyone else want to read it?" - but I think Dave and I are both really starting to appreciate the calm, the ordinary, the quiet.

It's 10:00 a.m., and Dave's still sleeping, so I guess I should go try to wake him. The blogs will continue, but if we miss a few days, know that I'm just sparing you the boring details of what may soon start to feel like ordinary life. At one point, things as simple as brushing teeth were huge milestones for Dave. Now, the only excitement in that act is arguing about the best way to squeeze the toothpaste tube. :-) Quiet is good.

Update #153

With so much going on over the past week, it actually seems cruel that I haven't posted. Please believe me, though, when I say that the short update I posted last Wednesday was the only free time we had between when Dave moved home on Tuesday and this morning. Let me try to fill you in...

The move Tuesday went really smoothly. We got all of the new "toys" (hospital bed, shower chair, crutches, wheelchair, etc.), supplies, prescriptions, contact numbers and advice that we needed on Tuesday morning and early afternoon then headed for home. On the way, we stopped to get Dave's twelve medicines and some necessities for life outside of the hospital (including a vibrating lumbar support cushion for his wheelchair - okay, not a necessity, but so comfy!), then drove to the house, where Dave's dressing immediately exploded all over the living room - welcome home!

The next two days were filled with dressing changes, unpacking, dressing changes, doctor appointments...did I mention dressing changes? Replace each of those "dressing changes" in that last sentence with "laundry that resulted from dressing changes" since Dave and I don't have a washer and dryer yet (guess what our first major purchase will be?), and you'll understand how Den and Cherie spent Dave's first week at home.

Oh, and by the way, did we mention that we got married on Saturday? For anyone who missed the post in the blog a ways back (and who has since gotten on Facebook and felt utterly confused at the photos of the wedding you missed), Dave and I decided to bump up the wedding to this past Saturday so we could start our new life together as soon as he got out of the hospital (okay, so he moved a few days early, but we were close). If you missed that post, though, you also missed the fact that the ceremony was very small and quick, and we are still planning a HUGE party for June 6th to celebrate the wedding and Dave's recovery, so please don't feel left out.

So back to the update... Add to the dressing changes getting a marriage license, meeting with Steve and Bryan (who married us), getting Dave's hair cut, picking out clothes, ordering food, and TWO CHRISTMASES (since neither of us got to celebrate Christmas with our siblings), and we had a pretty busy week.

Friday was Christmas #1 (Heckel) and Christmas #2 (Lund), as well as some time with my matron of honor and her family, and - you guessed it - more dressing changes.

Speaking of, Dave just woke up and needs his dressing changed, so I'll finish the update later. If you want to see some pics from the wedding that I'll tell you about later, go on Facebook and look at my profile (Kendahl Lund) - our friend Jennifer already has some great snapshots up.

More coming soon!

Update #152

Dave is home! We did make it. Sorry for the lack of update, but between moving his stuff in last weekend, moving him in yesterday and getting ready for the wedding on Saturday, we haven't had much of a chance to take a deep breath. Even now, we're on our way out to get a handicapped parking sticker, so you'll have to wait on the details of the move. But he is home, and we're doing well. More later!

Update #151

Happy 2009! Thought you might enjoy some New Year's Eve photos and videos (SIDENOTE: If you go back to the post from December 29th, I inserted our photos from Christmas)...

Tuesday is the day! After seven months in the hospital, Dave is finally heading home. Obviously, this is not the end of the road - there is still at least one more surgery, as well as much more outpatient rehab for him to continue to regain his strength. But going home...such a huge step!

Today, we are enjoying football (well, "enjoying" might not be the right word for the Michigan State game), leftover pizza and Wii Sports. Tomorrow, back to work for the final few days of inpatient PT and OT.

From both of us, prayers for an amazing 2009 for you all! Dave and I have never been so excited to start another year (possibly the understatement of the century). More soon!

His Spirit, His will, His peace, His glory...