Update #141

Please don't kill me...

I know that it's been a full week with no post, and I feel terrible about it. But it has been a crazy week. No news is good news - and the past week has been full of it.

Dave did get approval from his insurance company late last week to move to the Rehab Floor, the 3rd floor at Drake, and the move happened late Tuesday evening. For anyone who wants to send mail or find him when you come visit, he is now in room 307-1. The -1 is important because sadly, he now has a roommate, although Dwayne, his roommate, and his wife Melissa are wonderful, so we got pretty lucky. Actually, if you think of it, be praying for Dwayne - he had a "cardiac event" (heart attack that is not caused by a problem with the heart, from what I understand), and when he went into cardiac arrest, he fell, hit his head, and broke his neck in two places. The accident happened on December 3rd, and so far, he is completely paralyzed. Be praying for him as he recovers and for his family, who is just starting to get used to the life that we have started to call normal.

Speaking of updates, remember Darlene and Tony? Tony was hit by the drunk driver a few days before Dave's accident? Darlene texted the other day and said that Tony had had a surgery to repair a pretty intense bed sore that was caused by a lack of care at one of the rehab facilities where he was. The surgery went very well, and he is now at another rehab center where things seem to be progressing. One very cool story - because Tony is on Worker's Comp (the accident happened while he was working), his Worker's Comp Insurance will be paying the company where Darlene works as a nurse to hire her to be his in home nurse. So basically, Tony's company is paying Darlene to take care of him! Pretty great situation. :-) Tony is still recovering very slowly - they aren't sure if he will walk, be able to take care of himself, etc. - but he is smiling and interacting and doing so much better than when we last saw Darlene.

Okay, end of sidenotes. Yesterday was a day of new therapists, new doctors, new rooms, new situations...new everything except the building. The Rehab Floor requires three hours of therapy per day, and the nurses weren't kidding when they warned Dave that it would kick his butt. Yesterday, he got dressed and out of bed on his own, then had to wheel himself all the way around the Drake Center in his wheelchair for OT. During PT, he walked 120 feet twice with is walker, then practiced the motions for getting in and out of a car (which we will work on for real tomorrow), then did calf raises and squats with his walker. The day also included another hour of Group Therapy, which involve playing a strategy game and lifting weights between turns. Welcome to rehab!

In addition to the increase in therapy, Dave officially had his last breathing treatment this morning. Although his breathing is still fairly shallow as a result of his diaphragm injury, the Pulmonary Specialist is convinced that Dave no longer needs the medicine that he has been getting for the past three months.

Somehow, in the course of the 36 hours that Dave has been on the Rehab Floor, he has already won his way into the hearts of his new nurses (big surprise). Yesterday afternoon, his nurse Greg came in and offered to set us up a "living room" area in an unused room on the floor where Dave and I can spend some time watching TV and hanging out in the evenings away from the nurses, roommates and the general bustle of the last six months. In his words, "Young people need alone time." He set up the room with a TV, a chair and a table, but no bed, so I'm pretty sure his insinuations in "alone time" were as innocent as our use of the room will be. :-)

Speaking of living rooms - okay, that was a weak transition, but I'll go with it - some info on the next steps of Dave's living situation. Before I go any further, please try to remind yourself over the course of the next few paragraphs that Dave and I are doing the best we can with a very abnormal situation. You'll understand that when I say...

Dave and I have decided to move up our wedding. I mentioned a few weeks ago that I would go into more detail on the definition of "home" later - the reason for the lack of explanation at the time was that he and I, along with his parents, were still figuring out what "home" would look like upon his release. I'll avoid boring you with the details, but the short of it is that "home" for Dave and me is, well, wherever the other person is. Originally, we set our wedding date for June 6th so that Dave would be able to enjoy the ceremony and reception (and hopefully be on his feet for them) without exhausting himself. Although he is still not ready for a large party (and trust me, June 6th still will be - we'll get to that in a minute), after a lot of discussion (and once we do premarital counseling in the next few weeks), we know that we are ready to get married.

For anyone who enjoys a more practical and less sentimental explanation (we took both into account), Dave's apartment lease expired in September. Although his parents have a place to live in Cinci, their home is in Michigan, and at some point, we know that they would like to go back to that home more permanently than just a week every few months. The condo where they are staying is on the market and could sell at any moment, and it also has six or seven stairs to get to it, which could be difficult for Dave when he is released. The house where I live, which is right next door to the church where I work, is a ranch and has only two small steps to get into it. Because of my position with the church, we can live at the house for free for as long as we like, and I will be close by, even when I am at work, if Dave needs anything. As Dave gains more independence (which happens every day), his parents will have the freedom to move back to Michigan, and Dave will be able to maneuver his way around our new home, whether using a wheelchair, a walker, a cane or nothing at all, without much assistance. Most importantly, although we both know that marriage will not be easy, and nothing Dave and I do is ever normal, we will be able to begin our "regular" life together away from a hospital and in our own home.

Because of the short notice, and because the wedding will likely be at Drake (engaged in the ICU, married in rehab - collective "Awww..."), we are having a VERY small ceremony with only immediate family and our wedding party. Trust me, we would love to have everyone at the wedding, but as we started to list off the people we would want to be there, we quickly realized the reason that our June guest list is close to 450 - Dave and I are just too well-liked. :-) Seriously, though, we do want to celebrate with all 450 of you. Because of that, we are doing an intimate ceremony now BUT are still planning a huge celebration for June 6th - bridesmaids, groomsmen, DJ, dinner, and all of you. Two pleas:

1. Don't be upset about the early wedding (it's on January 10th, by the way) or how small it is. We truly want to celebrate with all of you, and if we could invite everyone, we would. But Dave's health, the limited space, and the short notice make a small ceremony much more do-able;

2. PLEASE still come to the wedding/Welcome Home Dave!/reception/celebration/we-don't-really-know-how-to-phrase-it-yet June event. Don't let the fact that we are doing the official stuff in January keep you from coming to celebrate. Remember my disclaimer? Dave and I are doing the best we can with a difficult situation. If we had our way, we would do everything in June. But if we had our way, we wouldn't have spent the past six months in a hospital room either.

When I was living in France, one of the many things I learned about the culture is that French weddings involve two ceremonies: first, a civil ceremony at a government office; second, a religious ceremony at a church. In France, the reason for two ceremonies is the strict separation of church from state, meaning that a religious ceremony is not recognized by the state. For us, the two ceremonies will be a separation of hospital and home? Rehab and recovered? Wheelchair and dancing? However you want to look at it, June 6th is still on, and we still hope you will be there.

Dave is getting ready for a dressing change - his wound continues to improve and get smaller every day, by the way - so I have to run. Thanks, as always, for your support, prayers and constant reminders of love. Love from Cinci...